Duckin a

This has been a long year and we're not out yet. Let's see, my mom died. My ex wife died 😭💔😢. Hey these little things are kind of fun. My daughter remarried the devil, only a really dumb version. Sort of the idiot savant of 😈 stuff. Any way. It was my first and last trip to the top of pikes peak. A word to the wise, don't go. I moved and will probably move again. So it's been an adventure. Jesus says I can't come home to heaven yet. Well ok then. Planned on fishing but only got the license. Oh and to top it off I bought a Cadillac. Still figuring out the 👃 picker. I should charge for rides. Been attacked three times by homosexual demons, oddly enough the holy Spirit ran them off.

2008 Cadillac door lock II

So after ranting about the incredibly complex door mechanism, here is another solution. The driver door comes with an emergency manual key. Of course it is a dealer item and has a custom clasp to attach to the key fob. It would be easy to use the key if it worked on a regular key ring. So Lowe's giant hardware was able to put the key in their key machine and it said to use a #28 key blank, which they don't carry. With this information it was time for a trip to Ace hardware. They put the key in their key machine and it said "no information on key". So the key person dug through their blanks and found #28 ! They tried it And the machine cut the key. The key works ! $4, rather than $1000. So half the time it requires the key, sometimes it opens automatically when the door handle is pulled. Cadillac is fantastic!

2008 Cadillac driver door won't unlock

The drivers door will not unlock. Only the passenger door and back doors will unlock.

Hey, who needs to enter the drivers door anyway? Soon driverless cars will not require a driver! But until that day.

So there is a "micro-switch"that needs to be replaced. But who needs Cadillac anyway? Forget the micro-switch and go with the $1 back scratcher.

My 08 Caddy is 11 years old. So here is a very low tech solution to an incredibly bad design. I mean the Chinese could have done better. The Cadillac mission statement on this door lock read, "come up with an ingenious design that is doomed to fail! "

So. Go buy this back scratcher for $1, pictured below. Put the back scratcher in the back seat behind the driver, or on your key chain if that is more convenient.

To unlock the driver door press unlock on the key fob. Now open the back door. Remember the front door won't open. If you are a gymnast climb into the front seat. For everyone else, use the back scratcher to reach the front door handle from inside and open the driver door. Close the back door. Swing the front door open and enter as usual.

The new blog

https://badassperpetrators.blogspot.com

The new blogger

Now there is a button on blogger encouraging the hapless blogger too try the new blogger. Well as we've all said so many times before, what's wrong with the old one? Nothing. The new one will require more brain cells. There is probably something good about engaging more brain cells to do the same thing, just to keep us from turning into blogging vegetables. Still I want to bore you with my thoughts. That does not require a new interface.

At some point Google will discontinue the current blogger and force us to use the new social communistic blogger. Unfortunately this does not mean the Antichrist is coming soon. The end could easily be thousands of years away. Google or no Google.

My apartment

Let's be honest. It's a miracle they haven't torn these down. Well in a very bizarre series of events my apartment fire alarm went off. It's very loud and irritating. Thankfully Jesus had them add a tiny little button to reset the alarm. Did I say even one time thank you Jesus? Actually I don't remember but probably not. Thank you thank you thank you.
So tonight of all nights was 🍕 night. And it was also the night to spray paint a piece of cardboard with paint. This caused the 🔥alarm too go off. So let this be a lesson. Pizza and spray paint do not mix.

Jehovah's witnesses

It isn't clear why we are posting this about cult worshippers headed for eternal damnation. Is it better to be on the wrong path or no path?

What's the point

Part of the problem is we have very little time. The clock is ticking. Soon this wave will be dead. On to the next batch. If time didn't exist we could have all algorithms too group peoples online content and then read the core concepts without concern for how long it took. Just look for original thought and creativity. After all 99.9% of everything humans think is just identified by age and activity. There are almost no Beethoven's or Tchaikovsky's. Just the rest of us. Billions of pointless carbon bases units thinking of salvation, but living a lie.

After all the path to eternal life is extremely difficult to find. Almost none find it. The way too destruction is easy to find. In fact almost everyone you meet is rushing into the abyss. Maybe one in a million is on the right path. You could easily spend your whole life and not meet any one on the path to eternal life.

Nothing

This post is about nothing. There will be no points made. There will be nothing discussed. No pros or cons will be asserted. It will not convinced you of anything. It has nothing to do with anything.

Dear God

As you are well aware I quite often say thank you that you don't talk to me directly in that scary super loud voice. You never talk to me directly at all, but if you decide that it is necessary I have a special request. Please talk to me like you did Baalim, through his donkey. Or like in Shrek. I don't own a donkey, but you could have a donkey talk to me in a dream. I don't ask for much. Please grant me this and only if you absolutely must. Otherwise just give me a big loving hug when I make the jump to light speed. Oh and while you're in this great mood, could I skip the millennium and go straight into the eternal paradise?

- Your loving humble servant


.

The Middle East

 It isn't clear to me why anyone lives in the Middle East. It seems like a miserable place. I mean it seems like more people are getting killed there than are getting killed in Chicago that's got to be a lot of people. I think we would all move to Tokyo which is incredibly overcrowded there's only 4 murders per year. I'm sure they're all crimes of passion. And doesn't everyone in Japan own a samurai sword? Anyway this is supposed to be about the middle-east not tokyo. Why does God think it's special? It's hot it's mostly desert people are getting killed there all the time and constantly waging Wars against each other it's disgusting.

Billionaires

Listen, to all of you out there who ever buy a lottery ticket and are not a billionaire. It would be interesting to know if a billionaire ever bought a lottery ticket. Anyway if you're not a billionaire and you buy lottery tickets here's some really good advice. Now I'm not a billionaire and I've never won the lottery. That puts me in an ideal place to give you the very best advice you could possibly get somebody who has no idea what they're talking about. You need to practice this phrase and I'm about to say over and over and over again. In some states you can win the lottery secretly. So that nobody knows you won. But there is a problem with this, somebody could bump you off or steal all your money and nobody would even know. So if you're going to win the lottery you need somebody to know that you won. the problem is those somebody's are usually people that then want some of the money. as any billionaire can tell you you don't go around giving away money unless it's for some political reason or some business reason. No and I'm not talking about Uncle Fred who wants to start the next great website business or Aunt Julian who wants to buy a fleet of mobile laundry trucks. because all your relatives and friends are going to come out of the woodwork and want some of your money. But Jesus didn't let them win the lottery Diddy? He let you win the lottery you were chosen from all the billions of people on the planet with a special ability to win that money. It's your money and nobody else deserves it. Now if they're truly in a desperate situation the Bible says to lend to them who asked for you to lend. But that means they're going to pay you back. And as we all know with friends and relatives that's probably never going to happen you're sort of just giving them the loan hahaha. so here's what you say over and over and over again. When they come asking for money you need to say well Jesus let me buy a winning lottery ticket I recommend you buy some lottery tickets. now if these relatives are the kinds of relatives who have worked really hard their whole lives and they really have some legitimate need, where things just got away from them or you want to do something really nice for them and just send them on that World vacation they've never been able to have then go ahead and do it. I mean after all it is your money. but to everyone else what you're basically saying is get lost in a nice way. I guess you could do the thing where you win secretly and then you just very quietly move away some place. once you're in this new place you slightly upgrade your lifestyle. you know instead of driving the 20 year old car with 150000 miles on it you buy a five-year-old caddy with 400 horsepower. You know it's an upgrade but it's not outrageous opulence. Tell people those stocks finally made alittle something. Never ever say the word "money". That triggers a automatic response in broke people brains. They start imagining that you die in some tragic accident and leave them all the "money". Then they start planning the "accident".

Laudry day

 yes. This is laundry day that dreaded day of the week. Some weeks are sheets day. This is one of those days. All the sheets have to come off the bed all the pillow cases along with all my dirty clothes. It's one of those epic events. Now used to be occasionally I would wash pillows. Or rather my wife would. But anymore I just buy really cheap pillows and about every six months I throw a couple of them away. In fact it's starting to seem like maybe a good idea to just buy some really cheap furniture from American Furniture Warehouse and then when it's time to move just throw it away. you can get a table and chairs and a couch which is really about all that's necessary for less than a thousand bucks. It's a very strange time in my life. Half the time a thousand bucks doesn't even seem worth worrying about the other half the time a thousand bucks seems like it's super critical. I mean just think of all the food you could buy with a thousand bucks and I'm talkin about buying something and then just throw it in the trash on purpose. It's not really clear to me what direction things are going to go at this point. Will I end up comfortable and well taken care of for the next 20 years or will things go down the toilet. It's very uncomfortable but not that difficult to see how people can end up eating dog food. I mean unfortunately dog food goes a long way as any dog can tell you.

To my adoring fans

Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart !

Imagine this

Imagine if Indians in America had developed satellites and smart bombs six hundred years ago. They could have watched the Nina, pinta, and the Santa Maria sail out into the Atlantic and sunk them with smart bombs. Then gone back to hunting Buffalo. 

Shoot illegal aliens in the legs

First of all, we were migrants when we came to America and killed the Indians. The people crossing the border are illegal aliens. Also people that migrate legally are migrants, not people that sneak in and steal social security numbers. They are Invaders and criminals. A wall makes the most sense. It worked for thousands of years around cities. It worked in China. It worked in Berlin during the cold war. It works around billionaires estates. It works pretty well at keeping people out. If Mexicans love Mexico so much why are they fleeing?

God

It seems reasonable to guess that God is infinite.