Note to constipated alcohol drinkers

The previous post is a temporary crutch. It is not a solution. Don't cook your liver. Lean more and more on Jesus. Amen.

For constipated alcohol drinkers

If you don't drink alcohol regularly and are not constipated, skip this. For the rest of you, first become a Christian. Then, when you haven't gone in a couple of days wait till you are at home and hungry. You won't be going out after this. Pour about three ounces of wine and one ounce of vodka in a glass. Remain standing throughout this process. Fix a simple meal mostly liquid, like tomato soup. Remain standing. Pray continually that Jesus will help you take a soft poop. You can pray Father son and holy Spirit if you want. Not sure if this works for everyone else. Now drink the wine and vodka fairly quickly. Maybe in two or three separate gulps. Fix another one and eat most of the soup with a few crackers. Then drink the second drink. Keep standing and walking around your dismal apartment. Keep praying help me Jesus. Then see if you start to get the urge for a poop. Fix one more drink. Sip some and get on the pot. See if you can go. Be patient. Don't rush things. Don't hurt yourself.

You might also add two table spoons of olive oil and one teaspoon of cod liver oil. Get the good stuff. Not cheap.

This isn't a good long term solution, but is a steppingstone to a better way not needing the alcohol.

In Jesus name we pray.

Fixing pillar candles

So most of the pillar candles that I get won't burnworth squat. They burn initially for about 15 minutes and then the flame just goes down to a tiny little spot that you can barely see. The candle will claim that it burns for 80 hours but who wants a flame you can't even see? So here's one idea that seems to work pretty well. (Theres a siren screaming by outside let's hold on a second. Okay that's better. You know the city there's always some disaster going on you always say a little prayer thank you Jesus that it's not me. Of course every once in awhile it is you. Then you say thank you Jesus that I'm still alive. To be honest if you're not really thankful to be alive then say something else.) Let's see where were we? So what seems to work pretty well is to blow the candle out and let it solidify. Then get a match. A regular wooden match. Then glue a piece of cotton string down one edge. Just regular old grade school white glue. Leave about an inch on both ends of extra string. Then drill a hole down beside the existing WICk  the of length the match. After the match and the glue dry then put the match into the hole leaving the match head up. Then light a candelabra candle and drip wax onto the string and onto the match. The wax amazingly will flow down the match and fill up the hole. Make sure the hole is slightly bigger than the match. Don't try to cram the match and the string down a tight hole. Let this dry. Oh yeah make sure to soak all of the string in wax. Then light the candle. In the three experiments so far the candle burns with a very nice flame down to the end of the match. Then you can either throw the candle away or repeat the process to continue burning the pillar candle.

The "other" car

So today the other car went out for a clandestine journey into a parallel universe. In the city of Denver there are hundreds of thousands of vehicles jostling to scurry from here to there. They travel fast and slow. They occasionally collide. And sometimes people die. But about 30 miles from Denver is another place. You wouldn't recognize it because you must put on the cloak of invisibility to get there. It is a place almost devoid of other vehicles. The roads are narrow and people are polite. Now in the city they are amazingly civil given the inhuman driving situation. We all try to act like coordinating computers, but that is not our strong suit. After all we're only human. Get it. Wow this is going way better than expected.

The other car

Electric cars

Ok what is wrong with this picture? Imagine the electric car you play with when you're a kid. It goes forward backwards and turns. It goes and stops. It costs $20. Now imagine the electric car you drive to work. It has one million screws and spot welds. It has gps. It is connected to the internet. It communicates with the mother ship. It costs over $40,000.

This is nuts.

The car industry in America

The car business is such a racket. Do not trade in a car. You are way better off giving it to a friend or relative.

Duckin a

This has been a long year and we're not out yet. Let's see, my mom died. My ex wife died 😭💔😢. Hey these little things are kind of fun. My daughter remarried the devil, only a really dumb version. Sort of the idiot savant of 😈 stuff. Any way. It was my first and last trip to the top of pikes peak. A word to the wise, don't go. I moved and will probably move again. So it's been an adventure. Jesus says I can't come home to heaven yet. Well ok then. Planned on fishing but only got the license. Oh and to top it off I bought a Cadillac. Still figuring out the 👃 picker. I should charge for rides. Been attacked three times by homosexual demons, oddly enough the holy Spirit ran them off.