If you don't drink alcohol regularly and are not constipated, skip this. For the rest of you, first become a Christian. Then, when you haven't gone in a couple of days wait till you are at home and hungry. You won't be going out after this. Pour about three ounces of wine and one ounce of vodka in a glass. Remain standing throughout this process. Fix a simple meal mostly liquid, like tomato soup. Remain standing. Pray continually that Jesus will help you take a soft poop. You can pray Father son and holy Spirit if you want. Not sure if this works for everyone else. Now drink the wine and vodka fairly quickly. Maybe in two or three separate gulps. Fix another one and eat most of the soup with a few crackers. Then drink the second drink. Keep standing and walking around your dismal apartment. Keep praying help me Jesus. Then see if you start to get the urge for a poop. Fix one more drink. Sip some and get on the pot. See if you can go. Be patient. Don't rush things. Don't hurt yourself.
You might also add two table spoons of olive oil and one teaspoon of cod liver oil. Get the good stuff. Not cheap.
This isn't a good long term solution, but is a steppingstone to a better way not needing the alcohol.
In Jesus name we pray.
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