the sensors on board scan for any normal hazards as the husband Blithely reads out, bacteria levels normal, viral levels normal, no detectable dangerous species to our species. and all the oceans and Waters of this world are completely harmless to us. look at this big white one with those funny looking teeth. the wife giggles how cute.
the two kids are each grabbing their 5 swimming fins as the gang plank drops to the beach. they all start walking out into the sun as the translator finally starts squawking alarming messages. the husband's calm 4 inch diameter eyes suddenly triple to 12 inches in high sensory input mode.
the husband tries to maintain vocal characteristics as he exclaims. the media is reporting some sort of killer virus! our sensors must have missed it! the whole planet is talking about it!
the husband orders everyone back onto the ship. then the wife says let's check and make sure we're on the planet you think we're on. they run it through their 42 trillion gigaflop quantum computing system and sure enough they're in the fuzzy way galaxy on planet xz1234GJ765sfy987TtiV. she says reassuringly I know your navigation skills are unmatched but it's good just to have the system reaffirm it.
they switch on the universal planetary viewing system and zoom in at various locations where there seems to be a high density of carbon-based units. they expect to see dead bodies everywhere. instead, everything looks completely normal. the wife comments, gee some units are expiring but the rate seems completely normal for this species. the husband, hmmmm. strange.
as they re-emerge from the ship to enjoy a fun-filled afternoon they notice a male and female carbon base unit approaching on the beach. they seem to be extremely interested in the spaceship. when they see the aliens emerging the male stumbles backwards suddenly and falls down on the sand. the wife waves a friendly 12 finger tentacle and says hi. the female turns frantically waving her arms and screaming as she runs away down the beach. the husband says, well maybe they'll warm up to us. the wife says, yes some species simply don't handle new data very well.
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