my wife divorced me, then she died

after 33 years of marriage my wife divorced me. you don't let go of that in a day. about a month after she filed for the divorce we went to one of our favorite Parks or we have gone for walks together. she was getting too ill to go for long walks so she sat on a park bench. I said I'm going to go for a walk. she said okay. it didn't feel unnatural, walking alone. we almost never did things like that, where one person would do one thing and the other person would do something else. we almost did everything together. after the walk she was still sitting there. about a month later she kicked me out of the house. she was so certain I'd move in with another woman, how strange. later the divorce went through and then she died. the day she died there was no spiritual sense of her passing. someone texted me Chris died at 4:30. apparently she'd let me go months earlier

I need to let it go. move on. set the compass and never look back.













coronavirus, the whole thing makes me laugh. where are the stacks of dead bodies. where are the hospital lobbys and hallways filled with mats on the floor and body's dying? where's the chaos and sense of hopelessness as some microscopic thing dust mites the planet?

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