Arby's roast beef

Okay this is random so don't hold it against me.
So there's some really great fast food places out there that put on great coupons I think the great coupon place of all times is probably Burger King. They put the Whopper on sale with small fries and a small drink for five bucks I mean my gosh that's enough food for a guy like me for all day and I mean their burger is fantastic okay I mean that's like a $10 Burger but for crying out loud don't tell them. Anyway Arby's roast beef is delicious. All the way back in the seventies their basic sandwich I think was $0.75 and it seemed outrageously expensive was like $0.75 are you crazy nobody's going to pay $0.75 for a roast beef sandwich. But there was no roast beef like Arby's roast beef and so every once in awhile you had to just break down and go get you a roast beef sandwich at Arby's. Of course it never looked like the picture and all the pictures looked like there's this mountain of roast beef on there and then when you get it it's two squash buns over a tiny little piece of meat in the middle. But it was delicious anyway it's so good I hope they're not putting cocaine in there or something I didn't say that no I did not say that. Yes I'm hitting the backspace button right now back back back back back okay it's all gone all gone no I never said that. Anyway that takes me back to college so there was this guy across the hall I'd tell you his name but I don't want to anyway he used Coke every once in awhile like not all the time but every once in a while he just like wanted some coke one night we're sitting around and he says hey I'm going to buy some coke. Do you have any money. I said well I got a tiny little bit of money but I'm not spending it on coke. He said how much have you got I said I don't know but I have to look at my wallet he says well I got five bucks but two lines of coke from the guy across the hall is $15. He says I've only got five bucks. He says hey you're a math major right I said yeah. He said well I got this really cool calculator I'll sell it to you for ten bucks. Now I didn't have a calculator and back then it wasn't really important to have a calculator okay this is back in the Stone Age people knew calculators existed and this guy had one but you know it certainly wasn't required for college. Back then we did things the old-fashioned way we learned them. anyway so I looked at the calculator and sure enough it was an HP 245 calculator that used reverse polish notation. They don't make them anymore they were awkward to use and you kind of had to get used to like punching in the numbers and then hitting Plus or whatever. Still it was a very cool calculator it did Sines and cosines and tangents and cotangent and all that stuff. so I said does it work he said oh yeah it's brand new. So I turned it on and it seemed fine. he said there is a cigarette burn on the back but that doesn't hurt it turned it over on the back on one corner the plastic was deformed a little bit where you could see a burning cigarette sat on the corner of it until it burned down and melted the plastic a little bit.  I said isn't this like a $300 calculator or something he said yeah I think it was 250 but my dad bought it for me he told me to go to college and Get Smart but basically I'm going to stay here till they kick me out. so I pulled out my wallet and I opened it up and Incredibly there was one bill in there a $10 bill. I said well all I've got to 10 that's going to wipe me out he said yeah but that's enough here take the calculator. I had that calculator for like 20 years. But you don't really need calculators is very much in computer programming.

 this guy turned out to be one of the best friends of my life and I don't even know his last name. He gets the Coke and he snorts it and he's sitting there sort of enjoying the high I guess. and I said should I try Coke? he said you mean you've never tried it ever? Nope never tried it well he said if I'd never tried it I probably wouldn't. So I didn't. so when I get to heaven one of the first things I need to do before Jesus judges me and decides what to do, is just say Jesus regardless of what happens here I need to tell you about this guy. now Jesus is busy he's probably going to say something like look all of that doesn't really matter at this point we just need to go over the numbers go over your stats see what kind of works we got here and decide what we're going to do with you. still I'll try one more time I know I know you're right can I just tell you about this one guy though? You can just see Jesus signing a big sigh and thinking how many times do I have to go through this with people? they get here and then they want to make things right too late friend it's too late to make things right once you're standing in front of Jesus about to get judged. well there was this guy in college okay which guy in college? there was a bunch of them. Can't you just read my mind? not right now let's move things along who was it? it was that guy i bought his calculator cuz he needed 10 bucks for some coke. Jesus says yes let me look okay got it what about it? Well it turns out that guy was one of the best friends of my life I don't really remember his name but he encouraged me not to try Coke Jesus says yeah it's all right here. I said well if I started to use Coke then using heroin and got addicted all kinds of bad things could have happened I could have ended up dying and going to hell. Jesus says, could happen all right. don't get ahead of yourself we're not done here yet. anyway I'll make a special note here that you mentioned it.